Goblin's Guide to Unconventional Travel

The Art of Hopping Fences

As a goblin, I've learned that sometimes the best way to get where you need to go is by taking the road less traveled. Literally. I'm talking about hopping over fences, dodging low-hanging branches, and generally making a nuisance of yourself in order to reach your destination. It's not always easy, but trust me, it's worth it for the views.

I've had my fair share of close calls while attempting to traverse the countryside by fence-hopping. Like the time I got stuck in a particularly prickly bush or the great mud pit incident of 2018. But hey, that's all part of the fun, right?

The Joy of Unplanned Detours

Sometimes, the best adventures come from taking a wrong turn. Or three. I mean, who needs a boring old map when you can follow your nose (or in my case, my stomach) and see where it takes you? The thrill of discovery is half the fun!

I once stumbled upon an abandoned mine shaft while trying to find a shortcut through the woods. It was dark, dusty, and utterly terrifying... but also kind of amazing? I mean, who gets to say they've explored an actual abandoned mine?!

The Importance of Pack Snacks

Let's be real: when you're traveling by fence-hopping and mine-exploring, it's essential to have some snacks on hand. I mean, you never know when you'll need a quick energy boost or a morale-boosting snack attack.

I've got a stash of stale crackers, half-eaten sandwiches, and what I like to call 'goblin granola' (it's just a mix of dirt, twigs, and questionable berries). It may not be gourmet, but it gets the job done